“The Hidden Self; Integration/Containment/Understanding?”

“Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser.”
― Maureen Brady, Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse

“One's own self is well hidden from one's own self; of all mines of treasure, one's own is the last to be dug up.” --Friedrich Nietzche

“The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.”— Khalil Gibran

As someone who spent three decades working as a psychotherapist, the notion of the “hidden self” was central to the work I partnered with clients on.  This was true both for the clients and for the therapist, of course, so I’ve had many years to contemplate this construct.  As I approach the end of my career I continue to wrestle with the question of “aspects of self” and how this manifests itself in day-to-day life.

Perhaps the most popularized notion of the most fragmented version of “aspects of self” took place some 40+ years ago in the book (later TV movie) “Sybil,” which was based on a true story.  This book brough the term “multiple personality disorder” into public consciousness.  This diagnostic nomenclature conceptualized actual separate and distinct identities (i.e. multiple personalities) contained within one person (often with different names, ages, modes of speech).  Often these “personalities” had no awareness of another- sometimes, perhaps, the “host.”  Such “splitting” was thought to be a result of severe trauma (an attempt to remain “alive” while experiencing something “truly unbearable” (often physical and/or sexual abuse in childhood). In time, we learned that this construct was overly simplistic and linear, so in 1994 the new diagnostic construct of dissociative identity disorder (D.I.D.) was formulated.  There was significant crossover in diagnostic criteria, but the fluidity and full continuum of symptoms (and a much better understanding of “aspects of self”) proved to be both more accurate and better suited as a guide for clinicians working with folks struggling to find a fully functional place in the world.

I share this esoteric history a bit tangentially, but I wanted to provide a context for contrast with the normative end of the “self” continuum so that we might briefly examine how all of us, in some fashion, wrestle with this concept.

If we think of ourselves as fully integrated beings, we might assume (at least as an aspirational thought, I’d argue) that we are consistent in our “self-presentation” as we travel through the various aspects of our lives. Most of us, however, know that different situations push different “self-buttons” within us.  For example, a situation that reminds us of being scolded as a child (e.g. for spilling something or interrupting an adult) might awaken the feelings and thoughts associated with that period in childhood (anxiety, need for approval, etc.).  Conversely, perhaps one was raised by parents who praised everything that child did (or said) so that when that same praised child encounters “less than expected” overt praise as an adult, feelings of neediness, and self-doubt are triggered.  Obviously, there are many such moments as we grow up in the world, and many of them will challenge us to “manage our(selves).”

Inherent in all of this is this question of “integration/containment/understanding” that I posed in the title of this circular piece.  What is critical is that we should strive to understand ourselves as well as we can; understanding our triggers and the demons we fight (we all have them), integrating our self-aspects as much as is possible with the primary goal being that we are mindful of how our feelings/memories/unrestricted thoughts influence our actual behavior. Unlike feelings- and for the most part thoughts- behaviors, after all, are choices. We then can navigate the world (relationships, life transitions) with intentionality.  The more we understand ourselves, the better choices we can make.  Such understanding doesn’t necessarily require formal psychotherapy- but it does require a willingness to slow down, reflect and process.  We don’t have to have the kind of diagnostic fragmentation I described earlier to benefit from a deeper reflection on how each of us brings our self (selves) to the world.

In closing, I want to share this quote from Stef Rubino’s review of the film “Poor Things,” a current and highly controversial movie based around the premise that a baby’s brain is implanted into the head of its dead mother, becoming a new being named Bella.  This Frankenstein tale is a full examination of what “self” means in a societal context as this “baby” inhabits this new body and this “new” world.  As Rubino observes: “… it’s an attempt to wake us up, to clue us into the behaviors and violences we replicate over and over again, even when we think we aren’t. … Bella is a monster, no doubt, but she’s one of the most common ones we know. So common, we almost forget how monstrous they really are.”

At some point we are all “babies in a new world.”  As a colleague said to me recently: “I object to the phrase ‘it is what it is’…that’s fatalistic.  It is what we work to make it become.” 

Even if the deck has been stacked against us, we have choices.  Make them informed ones.

“Creating Hope Through Action”

- World Health Organization

Submitted by Mark Williams, Stigma Free Somerset County Chair and Community Mental Health Advocate

I am very pleased to announce the publication of the mini-documentary in which I am co-featured along with Deirdre from the Darren Clark project “ Ending the Stigma, Mental Health in the Black Community.”  Published by Northjersey.com part of the USA Today media group.  The documentary explores mental health and suicide prevention in the Black community.  I am featured at the 4 min mark.

Article on Northjersey.com: https://https://link.edgepilot.com/s/8910e2dc/7Klwyu_UD0KRHRwufVN1wg?u=http://www.northjersey.com/videos/news/health/2023/12/27/ending-the-stigma-mental-health-in-the-black-community-documentary-anne-marie-caruso/71825919007

As advocates, providers, caregivers, policy makers and survivors we know there is still much work to be done.  Creating hope through our collective actions is fundamental to the change we want to see in our county, in our communities, in our homes.

I feel blessed to count myself among the many working to eradicate the stigma so often associated with mental illness, particularly suicide.  Blessed that we have the audacity to commit ourselves to the possibility of hope.  Hope that through our shared efforts we can improve the lives of the people who may feel as if they have no alternatives. 

Emily Dickinson writes, “Hope” is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all.”   There may be times when you are unable to hear it, but it’s always singing!  Singing of hope.

Please know you are not alone, on your own, or by yourself!

Franklin Township Launches Stigma-Free Council to Tackle Mental Health and Substance Use Disorder Stigma

Click Here to read the full article

Harm reduction and Why It Is So Important in Decreasing Stigma

Submitted by Lisa Federico, MA, LPC, LCADC, CCS, Addiction Services Director, Somerset County Department of Human Services

First, let’s talk about the history of some of the terms. The now stigmatizing term “alcoholic” was coined by a Swedish physician in 1849 (but not used widely until almost a century later). In the 18^th century, people in recovery would refer to themselves as “confirmed drinkers, drunkards, hard cases, inveterate cases, sots, and tipplers”. Many terms to describe someone who was consistently intoxicated, in the 19^th century, were terms like “dipsomania” and “inebriety”. Decades prior to the birth of AA, roughly around 1908, we started to see the term “alcoholic” become embraced by treatment professionals and written in papers for the general public.

The term addiction itself comes from the Latin word “addicere” which translates to “surrender oneself to a master”. To sum up, “for nearly two centuries, Americans have struggled and failed to achieve a sustained medical and social consensus on how to refer to people who use drugs or alcohol in a way that causes problems for themselves or society” (White 1998). The term addiction is still used today and is generally considered acceptable by national institutions (for education and clinical diagnosis, the term substance use disorder is also used).

The terms we use to describe people with substance use disorder or people who use drugs, matter. Using antiquated or derogatory terms to describe someone with SUD creates “a social condition that makes people who use drugs believe they are not deserving of being treated with dignity and respect, perpetuating feelings of fear and isolation”. Stigma can indirectly kill people with who use drugs or alcohol.

How do we stigmatize people who use drugs or alcohol? First, we imply that those people have something inherently “wrong” with them; we imply that they do not care about themselves or society. Then, we criminalize the behavior. Why do we only use terms like compliance and noncompliance when it comes to SUD treatment and not any other medical treatments? The dictionary directly defines noncompliance as one word: failure. Once we deem someone a failure in society, we teach others to fear them. Fear perpetuates isolation. Just like stigma, isolation can indirectly kill people with substance use disorder. Those people are our friends, coworkers, and family.

What is harm reduction and how is it related to stigma? First, harm reduction is a spectrum of ideologies, techniques, tools, and strategies that promote the wellbeing of people who use drugs or alcohol. Harm reduction is “meeting people where they are at, but not leaving them there; it is a framework for understanding structural inequities like poverty, racism, homophobia, and classism”.  A small example of harm reduction is using “people first language”. The person HAS an addiction but IS not an addict.

As we move along the harm reduction spectrum, we will come across movements like “non-coercive provision of services” and “multiple pathways of recovery”. Fortunately, we are not stuck in the 19^th century, and we know, from data, that an “abstinence only model for all” simply does not work or keep people alive. The hard truth is that most people will not seek treatment, aside from other barriers, because they are not ready or willing to stop using substances at that point in time. “Most adults with SUDs do not receive treatment in the US, contributing to immense individual and societal costs. Current estimates indicate that of the 20 million Americans with an SUD, only 11.8% receive treatment at a program specializing in SUD treatment” (SAMHSA, 2019). A person’s road to substance use is complex and nuanced; why wouldn’t their treatment or pathway to recovery be the same? “Universal abstinent goals are at odds with the objectives of many individuals with SUD” (Paquette et al., 2022). A fundamental harm reduction principle includes participant autonomy and voice in the creation of policies and programs.

Lastly, harm reduction is not a movement to enable illicit drug use. It is a public health approach that treats people who use drugs or alcohol with compassion rather than coercion. Other harm reduction tools include Naloxone. In Somerset County, largely due to the mass distribution of Naloxone, we are seeing an approximate 42% decrease in fatal overdoses between 2022 and 2023 (NJCARES). It is no question that harm reduction saves lives by reducing harmful outcomes (i.e. overdoses, incarceration, infections).

Where do we go from here? This past month, Governor Murphy passed a law that would expand access and protections of “any materials or equipment used or intended to use in preventing, reducing, or mitigating the adverse effects associated with personal drug use”. It is important to keep this momentum going and to implement more harm reduction strategies across the spectrum. We will continue to utilize the Somerset HELPs Mobile Van to outreach to the community, distribute naloxone and test strips, and provide education where possible. We will leverage funding streams to create programming that supports this mission and collaborate with partners who subscribe to this ideology. Overall, we will continue to create or expand practical strategies that will help reduce stigma and keep people who use drugs (or alcohol) alive long enough for them to make informed and personalized decisions about their recovery.  

Lisa Federico, MA, LPC, LCADC, CCS

Addiction Services Director

Somerset County Department of Human Services

lfederico@co.somerset.nj.us

Leadership Somerset Celebrates Class of 2023!

On December 6, 2023, a graduation ceremony was held for Leadership Somerset's Class of 2023. The ceremony showcased the groups class projects which were a Somerset County Residents Human Services Resource Guide (view here) and a Veteran's Garden installed at Valley Brook Village (Lyons VA Medical Center) in Basking Ridge, NJ (pictured below). 

Take a look at some pictures from Leadership Somerset throughout the year:

Agape House in Somerville, NJ

Environmental Education Center in Basking Ridge, NJ

Poetry exercise during class

Workforce Training Center at Raritan Valley Community College

Stoutsburg Sourland African American Museum in Skillman, NJ

MENTAL WELLNESS MONTH

Submitted by Mayra Episcopo, Integrated Treatment Team

Richard Hall Community Health and Wellness Center

Common New Year’s resolutions include learning a new skill, spending time with family, traveling, exercising more, or losing weight. As we begin to think about our own resolutions for the new year, we can start the year by celebrating Mental Wellness Month in January. January is dedicated to breaking the stigma associated with mental illness. We can incorporate resolutions for better mental health and well-being for 2024. 

Mental wellness is how you invest in your mental health, the actions, and routines you implement to prioritize your mental health. Mental wellness does not eradicate mental health disorders but encourages healthy habits that maintain mental health needs. There are plenty of ways to celebrate Mental Wellness Month in January, below you will find ten ways to start your celebration.

10 Ways to Practice Mental Wellness

1. Start a conversation with someone about mental health to break the stigma of seeking treatment.

    

2. Create a live video on social media sharing information about Mental Wellness Month.

    

3. Volunteer at your shelters, libraries, or food banks.

    

4. Practice self-care: get a massage, meet with a counselor, take naps.

    

5. Start a gratitude journal where you write at least five things you are thankful for daily.

    

6. Learn a new hobby, one that distracts you from daily stressors and makes you happy.

    

7. Join a mental health wristband challenge where you and others wear the bands all month long.

    

8. Host a fundraiser to raise money and awareness for mental wellness.

    

9. Connect with a teacher and volunteer to read a children’s book to the class.

    

10. Take a nature walk with family or friends.

Instead of dedicating one month to mental wellness, January can be the month that spearheads the year of mental wellness with every month having a focus on wellness. February can be dedicated on “10 Ways to Love Yourself” and May can be “10 Ways to Enjoy Nature.” How will you celebrate your year of mental wellness?

If you or a loved one is struggling with mental health, substance use or gambling challenges, please call our ACCESS Center at 908-253-3165. If this is a psychiatric emergency call Bridgeway PESS at 908-526-4100

OR

CALL the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to talk to a counselor 24/7/365

4-H

Save the date: Friday March 8th 6-8pm - Women in Agriculture 4-H Career Night.

International Women’s Day meets National Agriculture Month. Come and celebrate International Women's day and National Agriculture Month as you engage with local women working in agriculture. Come ready to learn and explore new agriculture careers! For more info, please visit: https://4histops.org/events/women-in-agriculture-4-h-career-night

Family & Community Health Sciences

• Tune in to the Facebook Live videos from Somerset County Family & Community Health Sciences (RCE) this February! By doing so, you can earn up to 5 LiveWell points (Metric 14)! Be sure to check out https://www.facebook.com/SCNJFCHS/ for updates and videos!

• If you would like to subscribe to the Monthly FCHS Newsletter, please email fchs@co.somerset.nj.us
• Be sure to check the FCHS of Somerset County Facebook page each Monday, as our Program Coordinator Mikaela Kane will be sharing “Workout of the Week”, with fitness tips and workout ideas to keep you moving!
• A flyer advertising a Breast Cancer Study, in search of women of South Asian heritage to participate. Flyer is attached.

• We would like to welcome Jessica Shick to Rutgers Cooperative Extension of Somerset County as our new ANR Environmental Program Coordinator. Jessica joins us with a BS from Rutgers and certificates in beekeeping essentials (Cornell), RU Ready to Farm, and urban sustainability (Rowan). Her most recent experiences include serving as the Assistant Market Manager of Riverview Farmers Market in Jersey City, and Field Manager of Moonshot Farm, a specialty cut flower producer and marketer in East Windsor. In her new role at RCE of Somerset County, Jessica will be leading the Rutgers Master Gardener program in Somerset County and assisting in the regional Rutgers Environmental Stewards program, among other responsibilities.
• As of January 2024, the new Rutgers Master Gardeners class has begun, as well as the Rutgers Environmental Stewards program. Total enrollment for this session of the Master Gardeners class is 20, and total enrollment for Environmental stewards is 5.
• A few interesting statistics and accomplishments from the 2023 Master Gardeners year:
• The MG Helpline fielded 389 inquiries in 2023.
• Over 6,000 people visited the MG tent at the 4H fair in August.
• The Native Plant team created an online educational brochure about native plants at Washington Valley Park. This brochure can be accessed by park visitors via the QR code in the park kiosk or by visiting the SCPC Website (Washington Valley Park Native Plants | Somerset County Park Commission, NJ (somersetcountyparks.org).
• At the Volunteer Appreciation Event, several awards were presented including the Award of Excellence to Shona Erlenborn, Master Gardener of the Year to Lisa Weinstock, and the 2023 Irene O Sabin Award to Karen D’Ambrosio.

 Peapack and Gladstone Police Department Helps to Keep Our Residents Warm

Submitted by Stephanie Billitz, Behavioral Health System Navigator

The Peapack and Gladstone Police Department conducted a Winter Coat Drive from October 10-December 15 with the goal to help families in need with new or used coats, winter hats and gloves. Nearly 100 coats as well as numerous hats and gloves were donated to the police department and dropped off at the Somerset County Human Services Department to be distributed to local non-profit organizations that support Somerset County families. Thank you to those who donated this holiday season!

Pictured: Office Tamburello (Left) Shannon Kiernan (Middle) Detective Caruso (Right)

Pictured from left to right: Lisa Federico, Officer Tamburello, Stephanie Billitz, Meg Isbitski

CENTRAL JERSEY HOUSING RESOURCE CENTER (CJHRC)  

TRYING TO GET FINANCIALLY STABLE IN 2024?

REGISTER & ATTEND

Virtual Financial Literacy Workshop

February 28, 2024 – 5:30 PM to 8:00 PM

Are you like 61% of Americans and living paycheck to paycheck? Do you feel financially unstable? Want to learn how to possibly change this?  Please register and attend CJHRC’s FREE Financial Literacy virtual webinar.  You will learn the importance of understanding your money.  It is very important to know what spendable money comes in and goes out (budgeting & tracking expenses), why sticking to a budget usually equates to positive outcomes, why saving for emergencies or to pay down debt matters, resources and so much more.  After the program, participants can make an appointment with their CJHRC Counselor to come in-person, sign an authorization and get a FREE tri-merge credit report ($40 value) which also provides the 3 credit scores.  CJHRC Counselors can explain and answer questions about the report.  Click the link to register:  https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/rt/4527072436464882008 

I Want to Purchase an Affordable Unit – How Do I Begin?

March 6, 2024 – 6:00 pm to 7:00 pm (Q&A after session)

Thinking about buying this year but feel housing prices are too high?  Learn about locating and applying for a home in the State of NJ Very Low/Low/ Moderate Income Program.  This webinar details the documents needed to apply, the difference between completing a full application versus a pre application, regional preference, how the random selection process works (lottery), CJHRC’s purchase guide and availability list and much more.  Click here to register: https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/rt/481629408825340250

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If you have questions or need help registering, contact a CJHRC Counselor at 908-446-0036.

CJHRC’s staff provides FREE counseling services for financial literacy, pre- and post-purchase, rental, mortgage default/foreclosure, Fair Housing issues/questions and homeless counseling.  Contact a CJHRC Counselor at 908-446-0036 or visit our website at www.cjhrc.org to view resources. 

To get important housing announcements, resources and information, please be sure to like us on Facebook (Central Jersey Housing Resource Center) or follow us on Instagram (CJHRC housing).  

Volunteer Services Handyman Team Celebrates a Year of Outstanding Work!

In December, the Office of Volunteer Services hosted an appreciation dinner for the volunteers of the Handyman Program. The event included food, music, thank you gifts, and a slideshow of highlights and pictures from throughout the year.

The Handyman project utilizes the skills and talents of local volunteers to perform small home repairs for eligible community members. To find out more, view the Handyman Program Brochure.

Events at Norwescap Career & Life Transitions Center

Join us for Core Computer Skills this month.  Have you used a computer and it does “strange things”? We have created the perfect series for you to build a strong foundation using computers. 

Feb 13 - Basic Computer Knowledge - Build a foundation of computer terms and understand how Windows the operating system works. 

Feb 15  - File Management - You will learn how to organize and find files, save them where they belong, copy and move files and much more. Also learn tips and tricks for finding and saving favorite websites and pages. 

Feb 20 - Know Your email App -  You will learn the importance of creating a professional email account, organizing and controlling incoming emails, personalized signatures and much more. - Learn how to take advantage of the many features in your email Calendar. Never miss an appointment again!  

Feb 22 - Introduction to Gmail App.  Learn how to use Settings, Labels, Categories, Setup your signature and saving to Google Drive. 

Feb 27 - Virtual Communications. This is a hybrid class.  Learn how to use Zoom for telemedicine or interviews. 

These classes will be held in-person at our Flemington training center using our computers and internet. Class time: 8:45am-1:00pm. Please call Terry to reserve a seat at 908.788.1453.